Interview with Kayano Ai, the voice of the lovely Saeki Sayaka-senpai. Sayaka is popular enough of a character to warrant her own spin-off light novel written by Iruma Hitoma (he of Denpa Onna to Seishun no Otoko and Adachi to Shimamura fame), and I hope people will see why she’s much loved as we start to move into her storyline in the anime in a couple of weeks’ time.
Once again, SPOILER ALERT. The angst throughout the interview is real!
Sayaka is all about the balancing of relationships – a lack of objectivity would make the role difficult to play
Q: What were your impressions of the series upon reading the original manga or the episode scripts?
A: I had yet to read the manga when I went for the auditions – when my casting was confirmed and before recording began, I was in a dilemma over whether or not I should read the source material. Initially, I was minded to go straight in without touching the manga so that I would be able to read the scripts without any preconceived notions but once I did, I knew that ‘this is no simple love story’. The more and more scripts I received, the more I came to love the series. It was a mysterious feeling, the way I grew to be obsessed with the charms of Yagakimi. After we recorded the 1st episode I thought ‘I might like this’, and after episode 2 I was sure: ‘I love this’. I started to get so curious about what would happen in the future and wanted to know more of Sayaka’s thoughts over the course of the story, so I ended up reading the manga. In the 1st episode, Tōko specifically picks Yū to be her recommendation officer, right? I felt that I shouldn’t place too much significance on what Sayaka made of that decision so I did feel glad that I hadn’t read the manga before recording episodes 1 & 2. But as the Sayaka-centric episodes started edging closer, I had the desire to gradually bring to the surface those feelings hidden within her heart and I said to myself ‘I definitely chose the right time to read it!’ (laughs)
Q: (laugh)
A: I’ve gained exposure to a variety of works up until now but not even I could foresee that I’d be so strongly drawn to a story of love between girls. ‘So it does exist, this part of me that gets flustered upon seeing a love between girls’ – I discovered new sides of myself; things that would make my heart beat a little faster. I attended an all-girls’ high school where I was friends with a girl who liked girls as well, so I could somewhat relate to their feelings.
Q: I see. I would like to hear you elaborate more on the process behind how you ‘fell more and more in love’.
A: The more I learn about Yū and Tōko, and Sayaka, the more exquisite I find the balance between them to be. Striving to maintain an equilibrium that seems so fragile that it might break at the slightest contact…I like those fine margins. There’s a delicate touch to the art; you’re able to see how the emotions are expressed so gracefully on the page. For the anime, I can tell that the director and staff are handling its creation with loving care. Combining the manga and the anime gives us Yagakimi. I feel that it’s a really great series to work on.
I think of it as being like a set square. Its three sides are of different lengths, right? With the set square supported by its base to maintain equilibrium. But I’m having fun imagining situations where the involvement of Maki-kun and the others upsets that balance (laughs). Perhaps I might be observing things from Maki-kun’s perspective. I may be Sayaka, but I feel that I might also just be a spectator like Maki-kun.
Q: Over the course of getting to know Sayaka better, tell us which parts of her you found yourself empathizing with or on the other hand, anything about her that you failed to understand but had to adapt to in terms of reconciling with her emotions.
A: Had there been such a trigger in my life, I believe that it might not be out of the question for me to have turned out to be like who Sayaka is. Perhaps, if the first person who said ‘I love you’ to me happened to be a girl, then something similar might’ve happened. If I, like Sayaka, fell in love with a close friend, I might choose to be content with remaining by her side, just like Sayaka does. Finding the courage within yourself to say those words is amazing, I think. You would certainly destroy the status quo, and this kind of one-sided love where you want to express your feelings but you can’t, has the added element of both parties being girls – ‘what should I do if [the person I am] were to be denied?’. When you start to think ‘Maybe I’ll never ever be able to say those words’, you’ll start to wallow in loneliness – if I were to be put into such a position I would probably feel very lonely. She may be right next to you, yet she will never be yours. That is indeed, a truly sorrowful thing.
Q: Yū and Tōko are quintessential examples of people who ‘do not understand what it feels like to be in love with somebody’, though coming from a slightly different angle. On the other hand, Sayaka possesses crystal clear feelings of being ‘in love with Tōko’, which is directly in contrast [to Yū & Tōko]. Which means Sayaka is the one who is suffering the most, isn’t she?
A: But if she were to express those feelings, it would be the end of it all. I myself lack the courage to do so, but if I were Sayaka I think I would try to express them (laughs). Looking at Tōko as she is now though, I do think that it’d be impossible…even when it comes to Yū, saying something like ‘I love you, but please don’t fall in love with me’ – that’s just too cruel.
Q: That’s true – there certainly are situations where her actions and words come off as being cruel, even if she bears no malice. And surprisingly, the characters in this series do tend to have their own scary-looking moments.
A: They do. Even Sayaka – I do think ‘She’s scary!’ whenever she’s talking to Yū.
Q: (laughs) That scene where Sayaka is reading Koyomi’s novel while talking to Yū who’s drinking a packet of milk – that was pretty scary too.
A: That was really frightening, wasn’t it? During that particular scene, the animation told the whole story, and it was wonderful. Even minus [acting] nuances or breathing, the art will tell its own story and the animators succeeded in painting a picture of Sayaka that draws close to her emotions. I did not have to add my own little touches – the depiction of Sayaka turned out to be very natural.
Q: The character in Yagakimi that you could perceivably dig the deepest into would in fact be Saeki Sayaka. The Sayaka-centric novel that is coming out soon is remarkably lengthy.
A: I’m looking forward to that. It might turn out to be something truly amazing regarding what lies inside Sayaka’s heart, [events] on a level that would require more than a single volume to cover. I received a copy of the latest [manga] volume from [Nakatani]-sensei too, and reading it at home made me go ‘Ooh~’; I wished I had someone to discuss it with.
Q: (laughs)
Kayano: I’m totally just a fangirl at this point. When we’re in the midst of recording in the studio, you would see Mina-chan (Kotobuki Minako CV Nanami Tōko) trying to hide her ‘Aah~’ kind of sighs of embarrassment (laughs). All of us do get a little bit flustered. Oh, and the adults in the show – ie. the teacher, does have her own love story depicted as well, doesn’t she? We all think ‘ah, that’s so mature’ about it. I think it’s really nice to have the cast feeling so enthusiastic about a series and when everyone’s headed in the same direction, you know it’s going to turn out to be a good series.
Q: Yagakimi is a series that is packed with the kind of memorable lines that would make its actors and everyone else watching them go ‘Aah!’, but Sayaka’s lines on the other hand, are the type that land with a heavy thud.
A: I know what you mean. Each and every word she says feels like it has a weight attached to it.
Q: Let me mention the two scenes I find most symbolic of this. The first would be from her monologue during a scene where she’s talking to Yū: ‘Would I be able to tell Tōko that I love her?’. That was filled with sorrow.
A: We only needed one take for that scene to get the OK. The conversation between Sayaka and Yū stemmed from an unplanned encounter, but the monologues that ran through each of their minds perfectly overlapped. It made me think ‘Wow, that’s amazing’. It was as if they were the only 2 people in the world at that moment and I was filled with a mysterious feeling as I was acting out the scene. I was perfectly focused on the scene, and my lines came to me with effortless clarity. It felt like I was perfectly in sync with Sayaka right at that moment. These interactions with Yū were another instance where I felt myself getting closer and closer to Sayaka.
Q: The other scene would be when she’s talking to Miyako-san in the café and asks ‘would it be cowardly if I hid my true feelings from her so that I can stay by her side..?’. It’s a line where Sayaka’s personality really comes to the fore.
A: During recordings, I was told ‘let’s make this scene memorable’. I think the directing was really wonderful. It was definitely a line of dialogue that showed Sayaka for the person she truly is.
Q: There’s a side of her that is unable to say the word ‘love’ because she fears that her relationship with Tōko would fall apart, but I also imagine that Sayaka cannot bring herself to express her feelings out of consideration for Tōko.
A: That is exactly what the situation is. I think it shows the extent of her love for Tōko, as well as just how kind she truly is. I know that her kindness could be what ends up hurting her, and it fills me with complicated emotions.
Q: If I were to talk like Yū would, I’d describe her as the ‘type that can’t help but be the one who loses out’. But she can’t change who she is.
A: Sayaka has a firm awareness of who she is and holds a certain amount of pride, doesn’t she? Tōko is depicted as someone who plays the role of ‘Tōko’, and I sometimes feel that part of Sayaka is doing the same – acting as ‘herself’. In reality, Sayaka might want to be ‘more like this, or do more of that’ and I feel that she is working harder than Tōko does at suppressing those instincts. Unlike Tōko, Sayaka does not have [a special] someone like Yū and that is truly depressing. I do wish that there would be respite for Sayaka’s heart. However, I feel like Yū’s presence may prompt Sayaka to finally take action.
Q: It could be that she’s gained awareness of the position she’s currently in. Before Yū’s emergence, there wasn’t anyone who could expose all the thoughts that inside her head.
A: There wasn’t. Which is why it’s so important that someone like Miyako-san is there for her. Finally, you get to see Sayaka acting her age. I do quite like that scene where Miyako-san hears her pour her troubles out over the coffee counter.
Q: Before Yū appeared in front of Tōko, I doubt Sayaka herself was aware of how much she was holding herself back.
A: That might be true. Everything…started from a certain senior (laughs). We were all going, ‘that senior (girl), she’s awful!’. Though she didn’t necessarily mean any ill will. Ahh, that episode was tough. Somehow…it just got me thinking ‘Wow, that kind of person does exist’ (laughs)
Q: (laughs)
A: When I saw that scene with her senior, my thoughts, from a viewer’s perspective, were ‘Ehhhhh!? I feel so sorry for Sayaka!’. However, because I play Sayaka it is my job to get as close as possible to Sayaka’s emotions and while I do feel angry on her behalf, I have to look at things calmly in a manner similar to how Maki-kun does or else the series might not be able to carry on. While I do think that is important to dig deeper into the role, someone like Sayaka is all about the balancing of interpersonal relationships, and I feel that a lack of objectivity [on my part] would make the role a difficult one to play. If she was the kind of character who’d behave the way you expected her to then I might delve deeper into the role, but I do believe that part of me has to remain a spectator.
I’d love to see Sayaka confess to Tōko, but part of me doesn’t want it to happen
Q: Kayano-san – you have spoken in the past about how you try not to ‘look too deeply into a series’. About a desire to avoid forming preconceived notions. Do you still take such an approach now?
A: Yes, that’s still my method. Depending on the series, I might choose not to read the source material though sometimes I do read through the scripts and check them against the source.
Q: Especially in the case of Yagakimi – I think the interactions & the dialogue that is created in the studio is of importance. Were there times when you felt like there were ‘chemical reactions’ that happened that were unique to this series?
A: I knew from episode 1 that this [series] would focus on natural conversations so the best thing to do was to stay as natural as possible. Since I’d gone into episode 1 recordings without having read the source material, the surprising developments came one after the other for me. They said to me ‘Sayaka’s up next. But her story is still some way further down the line’ and that convinced me that there was ‘information that I would need to know beforehand’. Yukki (Takada Yūki, CV Koito Yū) and Mina-chan both interact very naturally and working on episode 1 allowed me to see how the two of them put so much thought into their acting and there was no way anyone else could afford to put in a half-hearted performance. I thought, ‘This will turn out to be a great series as long as they’re both in the scene’. As I was considering how I could naturally slip inside the space that the two of them had created, I realized that I didn’t want viewers to see Sayaka as a character that could be easily dismissed – I wanted to produce a performance that would make people feel some kind of emotion.
Q: Like you mention; even as the voice of Sayaka you could still play the part of a spectator. You could be the subject and an audience member at the same time. There would be quite a few anime viewers and manga readers too, who would see things from the perspective of Sayaka.
A: That’s right. I find the position that Sayaka is in to be quite interesting, even as I’m acting the role out. However, certain scenes do make me feel very complicated emotions (laughs). Even a throwaway line has the ability to make me think ‘she’s probably thinking a dozen other things in her heart’. I would like to be like Sayaka, who remains unmoved by things like that.
Q: Also, this is a story that’s related to Kayano-san personally as an actress – you once said, ‘Every day, I enjoy working. So many different things happen every single day; I always have fun and never get tired of it’. Does that still apply now?
A: Nothing much has changed. After all, I get different types of roles every cour so I’m very grateful that these feelings of enjoyment never seem to come to an end (laughs)
Q: (laughs) But you do feel depressed when you play Sayaka.
A: It may be tough but I still enjoy it. It’s definitely a joyful thing to be able to experience different emotions, and going through the pain is still part of having fun. I’d think, ‘It’s painful, so painful, oh how should I express this pain, it makes me feel excited’.
Q: That sounds like a masochistic story (laughs)
A: Hahaha. But I think most people in this line of work think the same way.
Q: Is that so?
A: I mean, you do have to go through this kind of tense situation in the studio every day. The attention is all on you, you can’t fail, you need to be in sync with everyone else. And you only get one shot at it. Plus, you’re required to repeat that sort of intense situation a couple of times in 1 day so it does tire you out mentally. You’re not running, but please act like you are; you may not feel like crying but please cry when you’re required to – you get to have your feelings all messed up and I kind of enjoy that. I hope that I’ll be able to act my whole life long. I don’t know if other people feel the same, but I’ve always thought ‘I would never be able to continue down this road if I didn’t learn to enjoy those parts’, ever since I started becoming a seiyuu.
Q: So for example, you could get people who declare ‘I can’t play any other role for a week’. It seems like they might go crazy if they had to do work that involves projecting their emotions upon endless numbers of characters within that 1 week.
On the other hand, there are people who love exploring their acting abilities, love dissecting the characters that they play. In other words, they place trust in their own skills instead of being worried about whether they can keep up with their emotions.
A: That’s an interesting angle. You can look at things that way for sure. I think that probably, anyone who’s involved in this field would have a different method of protecting themselves, of making sure they remain who they are. After all, if you put 100% of yourself into all of your roles, you’d probably think ‘It’s time for me to go on a journey’ at the end of it all (laughs)
Q: (laughs) This feature comes with the title ‘These feelings of ‘love: where are they headed?’ – the words apply not only to Yū and Tōko, but to Sayaka as well. I’d like for Kayano-san to answer this based on your own imagination and desires – where do you see Sayaka’s feelings of love for Tōko heading towards in the future?
A: Hmm…Judging by the current pattern…perhaps, to the grave? (laughs) That’s another form [of love], I would think. I want Tōko and Sayaka to remain good friends even when they’re adults. What did fleetingly enter my mind was the image of the two of them in dresses, offering their ‘Congratulations’ at a friend’s wedding ceremony. I believe that they can reach an ending where Sayaka never expresses her feelings – they remain very close, but with an appropriate amount of distance. Though I would love to see Sayaka confess to Tōko, there is a part of me that wishes she won’t. Even if the expression ‘taking your feelings to the grave’ makes me feel uneasy (laughs). ‘To the sky…’ would be more beautiful. But well, I guess, it’ll be ‘to the grave’ (laughs)
Seiyuu+ 